Tokna
“In the karaoke bar I welcomed customers standing in a line with other girls. The customers looked me up and down from my toes to my head, before deciding whether they would choose me. If a cutomer didn’t choose me, he would say and do derogatory things to me, such as throwing alcohol at my body. I saw many girls there being threatened with a gun or hit by customers, in order to force them to go to a guesthouse with the customer.
I felt like I was a game for the customer to play; when he needed me he took me to play, and when he didn’t need me he threw me away. I felt different to other people – I felt small. I was beautiful its true, but my value was small. Other people had education and a good life, with value. I felt life was too hard because I had no value. At night I used to sweat all over and experience intense fear and hyperventilate. I wanted to kill myself.
Since I started to work at Daughters these feelings have reversed; I know I have self-worth, and people don’t look down on me. I feel happy and valued. Before I earned a lot of money, and at Daughters I get less, but here no one looks down on me and I feel peace in my heart, nobody despises me.
I would like to help other sex workers to stop that life-style and change their lives, this is my plan. I want to be a counsellor.”
